T’was the night before Easter
and all through the world
A vicious pandemic
roiled and swirled.
The children were nestled
all snug in their beds
While days off from school
danced in their heads
I’m learning new phrases
Like flatten-the-curve
But to go out in public
Takes a whole lotta nerve
And there’s crazy new words
Like Hydroxychloroquine
Tho’ I can’t shelter in place
Cuz' I’m part Bedouin
We ran out of TP
and to everyone’s dismay
To help clean our butts
We've installed a bidet
Now McConnell. Now Pelosi.
and Secretary Mnuchin
You’ve agreed on a relief package
Without taking it on the chin
Now where is my money
I need to pay rent!
Whatta’ mean,
it hasn’t been sent?
I’ve got bills to pay
and food to go buy
Without that check
I’ll never get by
Should I try for unemployment
Along with millions of others
But with the website constantly crashing
One certainly has to wonder
Please try to be safe
And wear a N95 mask
Then sanitize your hands
Is that too much to ask?
Stay six feet away
As you walk down the street
There's no shaking hands
If we happen to meet
Meanwhile everyone’s Zooming
With family and friends
As a way to stay in touch
‘til this wild time ends
The new office attire
That’s spanning the globe
Is bare feet and sweats
Or a old ratty bathrobe
Our nation is binging
the show Tiger King
Oh please, isn’t there a better way
To get us through Spring
Over on Netflix they're streaming
The movie Contagion
A fictional version
Of this true life we’re livin’
The ball yards are quiet
There’s no game in town
No weekends with ESPN
It’s just getting me down
I've written nothing yet
In my little rhymed ditty
About the government’s response
That’s been rather shitty
Donny has turned briefings
Into his own nightly show
And if his ratings are down
It comes as a blow
Trump first downplayed the virus
Comparing it to the flu
So please in November
Remember to vote BLUE
And now as you prepare
For this year’s Easter dinner
Stay Healthy - Stay Safe
We’re in this together.