Fedora, beret, chapeau, boater, toque, sombrero.
Whatever you call it, and whether you wear it ceremonially, for religious reasons, or as a fashion accessory, a hat has a way of defining the wearer. Artists and intellectuals with their berets tilted at a jaunty angle; lifeguards and gardeners wearing straw beach hats; or the Stetson Marshall worn by Raylan Gibbons in Justified, you can surmise quite a bit about the person underneath.
Speaking of Stetsons . . . The 10-gallon hat is generally associated with Texans and cowboys, even though the name is said to have its origins south of the border. Mexican vaqueros often wore braided hatbands called “galóns” on their sombreros. A 10 galón sombrero was one large enough to hold 10 hatbands. It is theorized that Americans anglicized that to 10-gallon. Another popular theory is “tan galán” translates as “very handsome” or “gallant,” which may have been representative of the image of a cowboy while sitting tall in the saddle wearing his Boss-of-the-Plains hat.
Take the ubiquitous and lowly ball cap, and the myriad ways it can be worn. Logo’s or messages aside, the following styles are a giveaway as to how guys want the public to view them.
Backward brim – Dudes in their 20’s who want people to know they’re dudes in their 20’s (or older guys who want to appear as a dude still in his 20’s). Backward with the brim pulled low to the point of covering your neck is also popular with effeminate gay males. Which may or may not be what a dude in his 20’s (or older), wants to convey.
Flat brimmed – Originally worn by gangsta’s and thugs, it soon became adopted by the surf crowd and fixed-gear hipsters.
Flipped brim – Photographers, as well as gangsta’s, thugs, and fixed-gear hipsters.
Heavily curved brim – Young members of the armed forces from Montana, Kentucky, or Wyoming, where they would generally be seen sporting a cowboy hat.
Sideways turned brim – Depending upon the angle, you want to be thought of as Fresh Prince, Justin Bieber, or Flavor Flav. Why you would want that look, escapes me.
Straight ahead with a slightly curved brim – Standard for most guys not attempting to make a statement other than - I’m going bald; It keeps the sun out of my eyes; I’m a no-nonsense kinda guy who wants everyone to wear their hat this way.
Worn high on the head – Military or guys who often pick their hat up off the ground after a slight gust of wind. Or, I suppose, someone who has a big head or bought too small of a hat.
Along with a hat, a pair of socks can be equally telling of the individual.
Black or dark gray crew pulled up high - Dudes in their 20’s who want people to know they’re dudes in their 20’s (or older guys who want to appear as a dude still in his 20’s). Usually accompanied by a backward-brim hat—see above.
Dark gray quarter – Serious outdoorsman, generally matched with a pair of Merrell, Lowa, or Sorel hiking boots.
Dark gray low rise - Outdoorsy guy with a bit of a nerd-factor wearing Keen or Teva sandals.
White crew – Older guy stuck in the 70’s and often worn with Kirkland brand Velcro-closure shoes, heavy cotton cargo pants/shorts, and the occasional fanny pack. Sure, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal still wear white crew socks, but Nike pays them millions of dollars in endorsements, so they can get away with it.
White quarter – Older guy who doesn’t want people to think he’s stuck in the 70’s and owns a fanny pack.
White low rise – Active or athletic guy of any age who wears his ball cap straight ahead with a slightly curved brim.
Although I delivered the latest in haute couture to every Costco on the planet for many years, never take fashion advice from a guy who owns far more pairs of shorts than pants, and in whose closet no tie, suit or suit jacket will be found. Also, don’t look in my sock drawer, I may have at least one pair of all the above mentioned socks.
The next time you’re out and about, note the socks and/or hat on guys and see if you don’t agree with me.